Do People Talk With You, But Not Spend Time With You? Examine the Quality of Your Relationships

Author: Diana Bigham, LMFT-S

Sometimes my husband and I exchange highlights of our day and it is the extent of our interactions.

There are times that I feel lonely because I crave longer and deeper conversations together.

Even with friends, I have two categories that I can lump them into. One are people who talk with me and it is very transactional in nature. The other is relational, they spend time investing in me and I in them. This quality of relationship feeds my soul.

I think we do this with Jesus too.

  • How many times do we talk with Him, but it’s transactional?
  • Do we feed our souls? Are we refreshed after being with Him?
  • How often do we desire to just be with Him and feed off of the satisfaction that comes from just being in His presence and learning what is on His heart?

I encourage you to examine the quality of your relationships.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What relationships do I have that are relational?
  • How can I express my gratitude to these individuals for the quality they bring into my life?
  • Which relationships are transactional?
  • Which relationships do I need to focus on becoming more relational?
  • What keeps me from being more relational?
  • What will I do about this?


What will you do differently this week to be more relational and less transactional in the relationships that you value? If you need a safe place to process the quality of your relationships, all of our therapists are trained in marriage and family relationships. Contact us today at 817-562-8800 or at 

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